Easter Eggs
by domina tempore
Summary: A short little drabble in which McKay and his sister and Jennifer try to explain the Easter bunny and Easter eggs to Teyla.


_Author's Note: I know I said that I probably wouldn't be posting anymore this weekend unless I was stricken by inspiration. And... well... inspiration has struck! ...In the form of a big, pink plot bunny (it's better you don't ask). So here is a totally pointless but holiday-ish drabble; Happy Easter! Enjoy!_

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"General!" Hank Landry sighed, recognizing Rodney McKay's voice and having a pretty good idea of what the scientist wanted. He tuned to face him, knowing that it was impossibleto escape and that instead he had to deal with it directly.

"General, I've been meaning to ask you... well... Sheppard's father used to have a free Easter-egg hunt every year; for all the kids around... and this year his brother is still doing it, and we were going to take Madison; me and Jennifer and Jeannie; and since Teyla's here with Toran too.. well... I thought..."

"Dr. McKay, I will _not _play Easter bunny for your niece."

"I wasn't going to ask you that. I was actually hoping that you could give a few well-placed orders...

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"You know, McKay," Sheppard glared at him from under the huge head of the bunny costume, "You're lucky that there's kids here and I can't strangle you with tehse stupid gloves on; otherwise you'd be a dead man right now." Teyla, Jeannie, and Jennifer all laughed at him as McKay patted te bunny head.

"Now now, Colonel. You wouldn't want to scare the kids, would you?" the fluffy bunny paws clenched tightly.

"_Really lucky_," John stressed. But luckily, before he could strangle Rodney, a group of kids led by Madison noticed him and advances, and Toran tried to leap out of Teyla's arms towards the big, pink bunny.

"Here's you're Easter eggs," McKay handed John a basket and shoved him off in the direction of the kids. Teyla calmed Toran by giving him a soft marshmallow peep o suck on, and they all watched in amusement as John tried to hand out the plastic eggs filled with candy.

"Why a rabbit?" Teyla asked, shaking her had as two little children tried to hang onto John's huge, floppy bunny ears. "Unless I am mistaken and your world is very different than mine, rabbits do not lay eggs.

"The pink ones do," Jeannie joked. They all turned to her with raised eyebrows.

"_The pink ones do_?" Rodney repeated. She sighed.

"That's what Madison thinks," she sad. Jennifer laughed, and Teyla glanced at her.

"I assume that "pink rabbits" are no more common than "egg laying rabbits"?"

"Not unless kids try to finger-paint them."

"Do you know this from experience?" Rodney asked.

"No! I never painted a rabbit pink..." she blushed. "The paint was lime green."

"Maddie wanted to," Jeannie giggled. "She tried to convince her teacher to let the class paint their rabbit pink."

"Where would she even get an idea about a pink rabbit?" Rodney asked.

"It's the teacher's fault," Jeannie said. "She was the one who read the kids a story about some pink rabbit."

"But why rabbits and eggs at all?" Teyla continued, catching Toran again as he attempted a second dive towards the "John-bunny". "From what I understand of your holiday, neither of those things have anything to do with it."

"No, they don't," Rodney agreed. "But the kids like it; and it gives the stores a chance to mae money; candy companies... dentists."

"The bunnies and the eggs are more of a spring thing," Jeannie cut in. "Mer just had a bad experience with Easter eggs and dentists." Jennider tried to hide a giggle. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she'd known that Rodney's real name was "Meredith"; but she'd never heard anyone call him that to his face. And from the look on is face, it was obvious that he had never expected her to hear it.

"I think," Teyla saved him from any further embarassment, "that I prefer the _real _holiday."

"The one that has a point?" Jennifer nodded. "No arguments here; although I'm all of the jellybeans and chocolate."

"Just nothing lemon," McKay cautioned. "You never know when those suckers will get you. One minute you're stuffing your face, and the next thing you know you're in anaplhyalctic shock!"

"You've really been traumatized by this holiday, haven't you?" Teyla asked.

'Yes! Which is why, in spite of the scientific impossibility of Jesus rising from the dead--- and yes, that is impossible, even with all that we know about the gua'old and the ancients and all of their technology that _seems _to do the same thing--- I believe in the real story way more than any of this crazy bunny stuff. Five-second gospel and all that, you know?"

"I-"

"Of course you don't. It was something that my Sunday school teachers hammered into me; "God loves us, we blow it, He paid the price for us,--by dying--- and we have to accept it." I never have been able to get that out of my head. "

"Glad to know that something else can survive in that scientific brain of yours," Sheppard said, running up and still in the bunny suit, a herd of kids running after him shrieking in laughter.

"You are _so lucky _that I'm not Ronon!" he gasped. Then, he seemed to get an idea, and pointed at Rodney.

"Hey, kids! He has more candy!"

"Uncle Meredith!" Madison led the charge towards him.

"Oh no!"

"I'd run," John advised him; and Rodney wasted no time in obeying. John pulled off the uncomfortably hot and heavy bunny head and watched with twisted pleasure as the kids chased McKay around his brother's yard.

"I'm guessing that there won't be a next time," he said with satisfaction.

"You've probably succeeded in traumatizing him about Easter for the rest of his life," Jennifer chided.

"Mer will get over it," Jeannie assured her. "Maddie won't let them hurt him too bad." the shrieks rose in pitch and volume, and John realized that the kids had turned around and seen him without the bunny head. But these seemed to be shrieks of outrage.

"And this is where we check out," he said.

John grabbed Teyla's hand and dragged her towards his brother's house and safety.

Fin.


End file.
